


This Life I Live

by elysium_is_real



Category: SPN, Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Death of a loved one, F/M, Love, Love Triangle, Mental Institutions, Pain, Slow Build, Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-22
Updated: 2017-01-03
Packaged: 2018-09-11 03:59:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8952904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elysium_is_real/pseuds/elysium_is_real
Summary: Some people are sick, some people are crazy, and some are right, but people don't want to accept that they're right. You come from the last group and so you've spent your whole life running from what you've seen and who wants to take you back to the place of nightmare. Run from your past all you want, but sometimes your past runs to you AND the ones you hold nearest.





	1. Interesting...

_Don't stop, they'll catch you_ , you though. Pushing the brambles away from the bottom of the hospital gown, you ran faster. Lights were coming on behind you and voices were yelling. "She's gone! Get the dogs, she can't get out. I think she's a Code Red, too. The boss ain't gonna be happy," said a woman's voice from the shadows. You froze and pushed your back up against the nearest tree. She emerged and said, "There you are. You've caused quite a few problems, haven't you, little bitch?" A hand flew out and made contact with the side of your face. You slid down the tree, not caring about the scratches on your back. "Now you're going back inside and you'll have Doctor Buell to deal with. He won't be happy with you, will he? And you don't like him when he's mad..." You put your hands up to shield yourself as she hit you over and over and over and...

You sat up in the bed only to be restrained from sitting all the way up by a pair of Velcro straps. It was just a dream. You were still in the hospital where your foster parents had dropped you off a few months ago. Every wall was a blinding white and everything else was a pale blue that reminded you endlessly of Antarctica. The only colorful thing in the whole room was your roommate, Angel's, bright blue hair she'd colored the night before she got admitted. She was much sweeter than her outward appearance suggested and one of the many friends you had here. You would just have to wait for the nurse to come by and undo your restraints for the day. All suicidal patients had to tied down at night by law.

"Morning, sleepyhead," said Angel without lifting her head. You grunted and she let out a small chuckle. "Heard someone pass by just a few minutes ago, so we should be able to get out of here soon, pretty girl." Right as she finished her sentence, the door opened and a rather short man came through. "Morning, ladies. Breakfast is in the cafeteria. Have a nice day," he said briskly, undo your restraints and then Angel's. "Today's Visitor Day, y'know. I think my grandparents are coming this time," she said. "Maybe they'll get you out of this hell hole," you joked. "Wouldn't that be nice? Let's get to breakfast, I'm starving," she said, running a hand through her long, blue hair. She might be a few years older than you, but she was still more fun to hang out with than the rest of the nut jobs in this place.

Breakfast came and went. Then private and group therapy, and then it was time for visitors if you had any. You'd never had one, so you went back to your room and laid down to think and listen to the music on the radio. Flopping down, you stared at the ceiling overhead and whispered lightly along with the words. "The songs on the radio are okay. But my taste in music is--" The door opened again and the same short man came through. "Miss (Y/L/n), you have a visitor. Please come out and interact," he said. His voice was warmer this time. Deciding he probably wan't a morning person, you grunted and got up.

You were honestly surprised by the sight that greeted you. It was a man you'd never seen before. "Miss (Y/L/n), this is Gabriel. He's volunteered to spend time with a patient who doesn't usually get patients. He chose you. You should be honored. With his help, there's a chance you could get out earlier than your designated time frame," the man introduced you. Gabriel stuck out his hand for you to shake, but you waited for the other man to leave. His amber eyes never left yours until your hand shot out and flipped his hand over. A few light scars here and there, but that was to be expected. Something seemed to be glowing under the skin on his wrist.

"I didn't pick you, y'know. I don't even know your name. I just saw you and thought you needed a sarcastic little shit in your life," he said. You looked up into his eyes and smiled. "(Y/n). My name is (Y/n). I think everyone needs a sarcastic shit every now and then," you replied, dropping his hand. "So tell me, what landed you here?" he asked, leading you both to an empty couch in the corner. "Isn't that a bit brash to ask?" He shrugged and you couldn't help but smile again. "My foster parents didn't believe me when I said I saw a two chicks chop off a whole family's head after the family kidnapped me and tried to make me a vampire. Nice people. Mother and daughter. Jo and Ellen were their names, I think. But it was just a dream, so I'm waiting to pop this place," you explained, leaning back against the back of the couch.

"Oh, you don't believe it was a dream, do you, sweetheart?" he said, his eyes dancing. "Hell, no," you said shortly. Normally, you didn't tell people you didn't trust this, but something in him made you want to trust him. "Good girl. Knows her crap. Maybe I could give you my number and we can talk, even on days when I'm not allowed in," he whispered, scooting closer to you. "I'm not saying no," you said with a smirk. He leaned back again and laughed. It was a wonderful sound that matched him perfectly. Talking to him seemed easier than it did to anyone you'd met in a long time. 

You talked until you were the last person in the room and it was minutes before quiet time. Talking to him was more fun than you'd had in a while, and truth be told, he wasn't hard on the eyes, either. These big, beautiful golden eyes that shone when you laughed at one of his stupid comments, a messy, yet tidy, load of matching hair, and his arm game was almost _too_   strong. He was just a really funny, sweet, smexy guy and he seemed to be equally into you. One more ridiculous story about him and one of his seeming thousands of brothers, and a stubby, overweight woman came in and said, "Visitor hours are over, darlings. Time for your quiet time, Miss (Y/L/n)," she said with a sweet smile. "May I have this moment alone with my girl?" asked Gabriel, his eyes pleading. She smiled and nodded. 

"Your girl?" you questioned, crossing your arms. "No way she was gonna let me if I had said anything else and you know it. Besides, I'll hopefully be calling you that soon, anyways," he said with a wink. You rolled your eyes and he slipped a piece of paper into your front pants pocket, patting it when it was in. "Was that necessary?" you asked. "I wish I could have put it in your back pocket, but you might have jumped. I wanted to respect your boundaries, too, so..." He trailed off and rubbed the back of his neck, looking down at the floor. "I should probably get going if you ever want to see me again. I really had fun. Please come back, Gabe," you said. He looked up at you again and took a step closer. Looking down at you from his height, his eyes met yours. One of his fingers laced its way down through your hair until he had one lock twisted around his finger. "I'll come back for you any day, kitten," he whispered as he leaned down, never breaking eye contact.

The door opened and the woman came through again. "So sorry to interrupt, but she really has to be going. You can come see her next time, she'll still be here," she said, blushing and turning her eyes away. "She's right, I'm not going anywhere. Call me," you murmured, breaking free from the close proximity. The nurse smiled and led you back to your room, leaving Gabriel to stand there and watch you walk away. 

"Nice job on this one, Dad," he mumbled, standing there before disappearing.


	2. Someone Special

You walked into your room, shutting the door quietly in hopes of not waking up Angel. No such luck. "Who was that?" she screeched in excitement when the door was shut. You jumped at her reaction and shushed her. "Jesus, chill, babe! He was no one special. In fact, I've never met him before today. Something about wanting to help someone in this hell hole," you said, flopping down on the bed. Glancing at the clock, you deferred that they had forgotten to strap you down again or they just didn't care enough. You were fine with that.

"Seriously? Well, what was his name and what was he like? He was h-a-w-t hot," she asked, running a hand through her bright hair. "His name was Gabriel, no last name given. And he was easy to talk to and really funny. Yeah, he was attractive. He had these eyes that just make me fall into his arms every time they lit up. 10 outta 10 would date," you sighed, leaning against your head board. "You two would be cute together. Flirt him up, babes, and he's yours," Angel said with a smirk. "Oh, please. Look around, Angel. We're in the loony bin. What guy, especially one like him, would want a chick from here?" 

She rolled her eyes and said, "Any guy would be lucky to have you. You're like, perfection. I'd smash any guy's face in who doesn't think so. Now get some sleep so you can look amazeballs for Prince Gabriel, (Y/n/n)." Rolling over, she stayed silent and you couldn't help but tilt your head to look out the window. The moonlight left streaks of white light on the floor all the way over to the metal door and you reached out to break the constancy of it. The shadow of your hand silently danced and you sighed quietly, pulling your hands back to cradle the other hand.

This man was going to break your heart and you knew it. You just didn't care.

When you awoke the next morning, Angel was already gone and the clear moonlight from last night was replaced with dreary rain. You watched as rain drops pelted the shimmering glass, listening to the soft pitter-patter. You pulled the scratchy blanket higher around your shoulder to snuggle deeper into its warmth. A quiet sigh escaped from your lips and you glanced over at the clock bolted to the wall. 9:03, it read. You rested your head back down on the pillow and shut your eyes tight out against reality as you did every morning. Gabriel's laugh bounced around in your head and you forced yourself out of bed.

After running a brush through your (h/c) hair and throwing on decent clothes, you padded quietly down to the cafeteria, avoiding some of the crazier crazies. An older woman named Sarah reached out for your hair, screeching, "I'll give you all of ten franks!" You silently slunk away from her, walking quicker when you saw the bright blob of hair you knew to be your only friend in this "fine" establishment. 

She was moving the biscuit drowned in gravy around the styrofoam plate, mumbling under her breath. When you pulled a chair out, she jumped, then smiled brightly at you. "I have some news! Josh asked me out finally!" she squealed. You rolled your eyes and stole the orange off her plate. This "Josh" was only a joke between you two, formed when a patient snapped and jumped all over a worker, claiming he was her long lost love, Josh. "This tastes like ass," she commented casually. "What'd you expect, babe? Organic bacon with a side of freshly squeezed apple juice? Everything's frozen and packed with preservatives," you retorted. She nodded and you both got lost in meaningless small talk.

An hour later, Angel was in private sessions like she had every day. You only had yours once a week now, but her condition was worse than yours, to say the least. So you were in your room, holding (Your Favorite Book) in your lap and the radio playing quietly from the window sill. You lost yourself in the book, investing yourself in the characters and feeling what they felt. When the same man from yesterday came in and said something you didn't hear, you snapped at him. "What?" He put two hands up jokingly. "Whoa, hold up, I'm just here to tell you you have a phone call. Do you want to take it? He says his name is Gabriel," he said, lowering his hands with every word. You smiled and glanced at the page number before dropping it on the bed and following the man down the hallway.

He handed you the phone, then went to sit in the chair across the room. You lifted the phone to your ear and said, "Hello?" Silence on the other side of the line didn't last long and a slightly familiar voice replied, "Hey, kitten. Told you I'd call." You smirked and continued easily, "I think you need an award. Whatcha doin'?" "Besides talking to this amazing girl I met yesterday? Not much. I gotta say, Princess, this'll probably be the highlight of my day." You blushed lightly at his words and you could hear the smirk in his voice when he said, "What are you doing tomorrow?" Taking a sneak at the man across from you and seeing he was on his phone, you whispered, "I can't leave, Gabriel."

"Who said you'd be doing anything? I've got a few connections and might be able to get you out of there for a while and then permanently. You don't belong in there, I can tell. Would you say yes?" he asked softer than his usual voice. "I'll gladly say yes if you'll answer me one question; why did you pick me and not someone else? My friend, Angel, or the younger boy across the hall, I think his name is Thomas. Answer the question and I'm all yours to take," you replied. You were genuinely curious and this was the surest way.

You heard him take a sharp breath in and then he spoke quickly-- a bit too quickly for your taste. "I saw your file and thought you needed a little sarcasm in your life. Laughter is the best medicine, y'know. Now how 'bout that date?" Something was off about the way he was so quick to respond to you, but you didn't want to press your luck. Anything to get out of here, even if just for a day. Suspicion could wait. A way out with someone you could see yourself crushing on sounded wonderful. "(Y/n)? You still there?" he said. His voice sounded fainter, weaker, but you ignored it, simply playing it off as a side effect of crappy government phones.

"I think I'd like that. Yeah, I'd like that a lot, Gabriel," you responded happily. It was the first time in a long time you were excited about the next day. "Amazing. Where would you like to go, madam? Anywhere your precious heart would like to go." You both talked for a long while before the man told you you had to leave. "I'm coming for you tomorrow, sugar. Can't wait to see you," Gabriel said. "Alright. Bye, Gabe. Wait, can I call you Gabe?" you asked before the man hung up for you. "No," he said shortly. You couldn't tell if he was joking or not, but judging by the harsh tone of his voice, he wasn't. 

You went to apologize, but he had already hung up.


End file.
